


addicted to you, toxic

by ivyclub



Series: hemostasis [2]
Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Nosebleed, as in kissing during a nosebleed, mark works hard :(( what a good boy, other super m members are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 07:17:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21472150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyclub/pseuds/ivyclub
Summary: It’s a ridiculous time in the early hours of the morning when Mark realizes that the physical stress of being in more than one promoting and active group again, and debuting for the 5th time in just 3 years, was going to cause some issues.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Mark Lee (NCT)
Series: hemostasis [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625671
Comments: 11
Kudos: 276





	addicted to you, toxic

**Author's Note:**

> yes its another nosebleed fic, who is gonna stop me  
kind of alludes to the red hearts universe though not in it, but if you want to think of it as the same universe then just imagine hyuck knows and is okay with mark kissing another boy!!
> 
> title from no manners

As always, practicing for several hours straight every single day while continuously travelling back and forth from country to country takes a toll on you. Mark knew this, Taeyong knew this- hell, everyone who was gathered into the meeting room in June knew that the next few months were going to be rough. But that’s what they agreed to, wholeheartedly. And without regrets, their debut as a super group was coming up quick enough for the sweat to bead faster on their brow during practice. 

In addition to just learning, Mark has to learn others too by becoming their live-in English teacher, despite Ten having proficiency as well. Mark thinks it’s probably because they can dote on him during the lessons, and he’s too nice to turn them down anyway. Fortunately, it pays off since Taeyong has improved by a good amount since their month on tour (suck that Jaemin), and Lucas has also expanded his own vocabulary. Once again, Mark sees the sun rise before he falls asleep.

It’s a ridiculous time in the early hours of the morning when Mark realizes that the physical stress of being in more than one promoting and active group again, and debuting for the 5th time in just 3 years, was going to cause some issues. Standing in the practice room with his other members, Mark watches the people in the reflection of the mirror and his place among them. He should move right on the downbeat, his right arm comes out first, he’s in the back left in the second chorus. All these things matter.

He’s spacing out for a good while until Lucas comes up from beside him, clapping his back. 

“Bro,” Lucas says, his deep voice a stark contrast to the strong sounds of their rehearsal speakers projecting Jopping throughout the room, “practice is over.” 

Mark takes off his snapback and shakes out his hair, the clock in the corner of the practice room reading a fun 2am. He should head back to the dorms and go to bed, though he’s itching to practice just one more time. Run the full song once again, or maybe twice if he’s feeling up to it. There’s no point in trying to reason anymore when he knows his brain will keep him here even if his body won’t. 

“Head off without me.” Mark is determined to stay on top of the game. He’s already in the practice room, he should just practice. Sniffling a little, Mark rolls his shoulders as he continues to practice this one move. Now is not a good time to get sick at all. Lucas gives him a look, pulling his bag up from the floor. They both know Mark is going to stay in this room no matter what, yet Lucas still hesitates before ceding. He can fight him tomorrow about it- will fight him tomorrow about it.

“Alright, but don’t push yourself,” Lucas says tentatively. 

Mark knows Lucas doesn’t want him still in here, mainly because he knows Mark has been losing sleep as is with keeping up with the 127 schedules. He was just in Indonesia and was going to head off to New York City in a few days. Plus, he would need to head back to the States in November to start their concerts as well. Time zones are a real pain in the ass. Mark gives him a reassuring smile, and Lucas shows a half grin right after. 

Right as Lucas leaves and calls out one last goodbye, Mark watches Jongin walk in through the reflection of the mirror. Almost immediately, Mark can feel his own spine straighten itself out and move, feeling like he got caught by a teacher not studying. It’s almost unnerving, in a good way, how much of a presence he holds when he goes anywhere. Though performing on stage with him and the rest of EXO was something else, Mark can so clearly remember the feeling of his belonging on the stage. 

“Still here?” Jongin teases, knowing well how stubborn he himself is and the boy in front of him. Mark lets out a short laugh and fixes his cap again, pulling it lower to cover his eyes. He scrunches his nose as the older gets closer, mapping out the moves in small motions while looking at his reflection. Something doesn’t seem right, and Mark turns to look sheepishly at Jongin.

“Mind if I try again?” he asks. The older only smiles and gestures to the speakers. 

Mark shuffles over to press the play button on the computer, turning down the volume while he’s at it just to not disturb anyone (and so that the ringing in his ears will go away). He jogs back into place and readies himself, the bass already starting to vibrate in his chest. Jongin takes it upon himself to stand with Mark too in place, running through the song with him. It’s harder when the others aren’t here to help him with positioning, but they make it work with just each other.

He's breathing a little heavier by the end of it, frustration just beginning to bubble into his nerves. Something just doesn't feel right, so he continues to repeat the verse without the music. Maybe it's just the lack of the others around him so it looks off. 

"Here," Jongin says, pulling Mark out of his loop, "Try moving down more." He grabs his hips and pulls them, Mark's body forced to follow the movement of his strong grip. "Like that."

Mark watches Jongin's hands as he places them onto him and the whole time he moves, not even paying attention to how it's supposed to look in the reflection. It's not that he's entirely uncomfortable with the others, however it definitely is the first time anyone has been this bold with him that isn't one of his main members. 

"Uh-"

"Bend your knees a little more too. It'll help you move faster." Jongin steps away from Mark, the burning warmth of his fingers still lingering through clothed skin. Mark nods, dazed, and he sniffles again, running his hand under his nose.

Jongin’s face morphs into one of concern. “Are you getting sick?” Mark starts to shake his head but he isn’t even sure. He grabs a tissue from the side pocket of his bookbag and blows his nose, pulling away the tissue to see red. Jongin's eyes widen as he catches sight of the bloodied tissue. Oh no. 

“I’m fine, sorry. Gotta go,” Mark rushes, grabbing his bag from the floor and rushing out before Jongin can even say anything. He holds the tissue to his face as he power walks out of the SM building, phone in his other hand. There’s no reason to call anyone, mostly because its two in the morning still and it isn’t that big of a deal, but Mark is already dialling Hyuck although he’d already thought about not. 

“_What is it loser, it’s like two in the damn morning,_” Hyuck’s voice sounds rough through the speaker. 

“Oh, were you sleeping? Sorry…” Mark whispers, apologetic. 

“_Actually I was playing Overwatch and you made me die out of res. What do you want?_” He sounds annoyed, and for good reason, and Mark considers not talking about it and just hanging up because it isn’t that big of a deal. 

“Sorry, I just- I had another nosebleed.” There’s a slight pause before Hyuck speaks again. 

“_Hasn’t it just been warm? No cold days?_” Mark shakes his head, even though Hyuck can’t see him through the phone. No cold days, so why was this happening?

“No cold days. ‘s why I called you.” Mark hears a low hum through the speaker right as he rounds the corner to the dorms.

"_You do know that stress can cause nosebleeds too, right?_" Hyuck asks, almost interrogating. Mark can only let out a sound of understanding that’s cut off as he abruptly hangs up. 

Stress? Mark isn't stressed. Sure, a few weeks of flying and lack of sleep and dancing nonstop might have some toll on his body, but Mark doesn't feel it! Swear, promise, really. His back muscles ache a little but nothing like a warm shower can't fix. He feels great, it's 2am and he's awake and ready. Mark isn't stressed. 

Perhaps not as mentally stressed (though Mark would admit if he was being asked), but physical stress? That might be something Mark needs to be wary about. 

The flight to LA was long and only mildly uncomfortable, given that they were wearing suits to the airport and therefore had to change prior to getting onto the plane. Of course it was a relatively minor disturbance and better than wearing the suits onto the plane, but trying to keep the button downs as good as possible with unwrinkled slacks is hard already. Mark is just glad they didn’t put him in a cummerbund. 

Once the humid air of Los Angeles hit them, Mark immediately felt sweat begin to stick to the back of his shirt. 

The place they were staying at was some incredibly souped up house with a pool and everything. Expectedly, swimming was their first priority- well, after food. In-N-Out has closing times, the pool at the house does not. 

The house that was rented was large enough to house all seven of them in the available bedrooms, and after a quick look-ver and game of drawing lots, Mark had the fortune of lodging with Ten. Breaking into English had become a natural habit, mostly because of Johnny and even more so now that the other members were working so hard to study English, so being in the same room as Ten allowed natural conversation in a language the older was a little more comfortable in. 

These past few weeks of practicing brought all of them closer together, something Taemin had hoped for when he asked that they share a dorm during the promotional season. Being able to do such had helped Mark a lot as well, and thankfully so with the older members, though the biggest enigma had been the youngest of his seniors. No longer just the Kai on stage with a strong stage presence and knack for performing, Mark became well acquainted with Jongin, the shy tan skinned beauty who was sweet with his words and actions. 

The living room became the practice room that night, as the following day’s performance reared its stressful head. Pre-recording for Ellen would be in a few days as well, and Mark suddenly felt more pressure than when he came to America for a whole month on tour, though for slightly different reasons. 

After a couple hours of repeating the same dance until no one messed up two times around, Baekhyun clapped his hands and gave the go for bedtime. 

Lucas was the first after Baekhyun to turn on his heel and retire for the night, Ten following swiftly after. Taemin and Taeyong stayed down with Jongin and Mark as they worked out the fine details until they went up 20 minutes later. Once again, Mark was left alone with Jongin and he’s a lot more nervous than before. He was significantly closer to him than he was a few months ago, especially since Jongin took on the beloved and torturous task of touching Mark a lot, but his heart will still race if Jongin looks at him the right way. 

There’s no mirror for him to watch himself unfortunately so Mark repeats motions until it feels right and the transitions work. He can feel Jongin’s eyes monitoring him the whole time from his spot resting on the couch and tries not to shrink under his studying gaze. 

Once Mark has finished the speedrun of Jopping and Super Car, Jongin breaks the warm air with a whistle. “Wow, I can see why they wanted you as a part of this group,” he praises. Mark blushes, not just from being warm. He lets out a nervous laugh.

“Man, then what about you?” 

“What about me?” Mark looks at the older, nearly offended.

“What not about you? You’re literally made for the stage,” Mark says. “You look good, you can dance, you’ve been doing this for like seven years now dude.” 

He feels a little embarrassed saying this out loud but Jongin deserves to know. Mark only gets more embarrassed as time passes and Jongin still doesn’t say anything, only staring at him once again. He hopes he didn’t say anything wrong. 

Jongin smiles up at him. “You’re so cute Mark.”

“Oh...”

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Oh?” It’s night, early hours of the morning really, and if they don’t go to bed now then they’ll only get a few hours of sleep until tomorrow, and Mark would really like to be able to get up before noon so he can get his nerves settled. Yet somehow, in the depths of his mind where stress and sleep deprivation are linking hands, kissing Jongin doesn’t seem like the worst idea. “Are you sure about that? Right here?” Mark asks, skeptical. 

“Why not?”

Jongin stands up from his seat on the couch, lightly taking Mark’s hand and pulling him closer. Mark instinctively takes half a step back, and then leans forward into Jongin’s pull. He looks down at Mark, a good few inches taller than him and his chocolate brown eyes melting into Mark’s own, or what he can with Mark’s gaze darting around so fast. The older doesn’t move until he hears Mark squeak out an affirmation, and he bends down to press a chaste kiss to Mark’s lips. 

It’s soft, as expected. Jongin has beautiful lips that pillow against Mark’s own. They only press against his for a second maybe, not even, and then he’s pulling away and Mark is met with Jongin’s charming grin, already missing the feeling of such sweetness. In a weird way, it feels like he’s become a little less nervous about this whole experience and the debut, and Mark thinks this could be a drug he would want more of.

Mark flushes hard and he brings his hands up to his cheeks just to feel how warm they’ve gotten. Jongin is still standing there, confident as ever, unbreaking. 

He bends down once more to give Mark another kiss, just that much longer than the last. Mark spends the split seconds angling his head up to chase him as he pulls away, leaving him wanting more. Jongin turns and walks around the couch, calling out, “Don’t be up too late!” before retiring for the night as well. 

The music stopped playing a while ago, and Mark only notices now the silence that follows. He brings his hand up to his mouth, grazing over his lips lightly as he tries suppressing the giggle thats forcing its way up his throat. 

Ah, he should probably head to bed. 

Backstage is a whole building with an area cleared out for changing, hair and makeup, and overall foolery, and no one has really sat down to rest since being forced to for hair and makeup. Either warming up or humming about, everyone’s energy is running high and their nerves even higher. 

Mark hops up and down, his eyes glancing about at everyone who does the same to get their legs moving, heart going, hair fixed steadily in place. They run through choreo one more time, all facing each other. People come in and out of the tent and Mark can barely focus on all the activity around him. 

Today is the day.

A Korean group making a debut in America is stupidly ambitious, and he knows everyone is just as excited as they are scared. Trending a tag to disband on Twitter did nothing to help the fear in their hearts about this group that none of them wanted to disclose to each other, and Mark hopes- prays- that today he can prove them wrong.

"How are you feeling, champ?" Mark hears from behind him. He turns around to see Jongin in all his styled glory, and his breath catches in his throat for a second. 

"Good. Nervous," Mark sighs out. "Really nervous. What if they don't like it, right?" Mark can only half-joke at that, knowing some people truly think this group was the worst. 

Jongin reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder, all of Mark's nerves jumping at the contact. "Don't think about that. We worked hard for this, let's just do our best." 

"Right, right…" Mark looks down at the ground and lets out a sharp exhale. It's half an hour until showtime, it'll be great. 

Except his nose starts running, and Mark kind of has the sneaking suspicion that it's not sickness he's caught. Without explanation, Mark jerks from Jongin's grip, hand over his nose, as he speeds out of the backstage to the bathrooms in the building next to them. 

Lucky for Mark, there isn't anyone there when he lifts his hand off his nose and feels the blood running out, some all on the side of his palm where it was pressed to his face. There’s dried blood smeared against his philtrum and cheek as well from where it pooled in his hand. He grabs a paper towel and stands over the sink, letting the blood drip off his chin into the basin. 

Of course now of all times his body is going to turn against him. He's literally about to debut again in a few minutes in America of all places, and his nose is just having a field day. Belatedly, he remembers what Hyuck said about stress causing nosebleeds and he scoffs. If only Hyuck saw him now. 

"Hey, why did you- whoa." Mark whips his head towards the entrance where he hears Jongin, the clinking of his metal necklaces echoing in the empty bathroom. He must look like a mess, God, he's so embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry, I'm fine, I'll be out in a few minutes I swear," Mark babbles. He presses the rough paper towel into the mess, only to pull it away and watch more run slowly over his lips. The panic is starting to catch up to him as he remembers that now he needs to redo his makeup and make sure there’s none on his shirt because the stylists will literally skin him, and there's barely ten minutes left until the showcase starts but he's still in this damn bathroom. 

“Wait, but are you good?” Jongin asks, worry lacing his voice. 

"Yeah, sorry. Just- go, tell them I'll be a few minutes, I promise." 

“Mark-”

“Please, I’m okay. I don’t wanna make you late,” Mark says. He’s starting to choke up a little for who knows what reason- embarrassment, fear, frustration- and he takes a shuddering breath in, the blood still not stopping. Jongin takes quick strides, and before Mark knows it, the older is behind him, grabbing his shoulders to turn him around to face him, and he bends down to eye level for a kiss, blood and all. 

After the initial contact, Jongin quickly becomes more bold and starts pressing forward, Mark’s body forced to take a step back to balance himself. His back hits the edge of the counter and a small noise makes it way up his throat. Jongin hoists Mark up slightly, grip strong on the muscle of his thighs, so his head is angled down, and Mark is surprised at how considerate he is about doing so even in this kind of situation. It might be how Jongin has yet to let go of his thighs, but Mark’s head spins a little and he credits it to the blood loss. 

Mark can still feel it rolling out of his nose over their lips, now more than a few seconds ago thanks to Jongin lifting Mark so his head tips down, and the taste of metal seeps through as Jongin presses his mouth closer. Mark lets out a whine, trying to squirm away, but Jongin’s grip is firm and his lips are insistent. They have blood in their mouths! 

When Jongin finally pulls away, Mark can see his lips are stained red, darker at the seam, and some has gotten onto his chin as well. It really looks awful. 

“It’s okay,” Jongin says in his smooth voice. Mark is frozen in place, and Jongin takes it upon himself to wet the paper towel Mark is holding and wipe off the blood himself. One hand cups gently around his cheek, holding Mark’s head still as he carefully rubs at the mess. 

He coos quietly the whole time he’s cleaning up the younger, just small words of encouragement and that everything is going to be fine. Some of Mark’s makeup comes off as well, as expected, but Jongin pays less attention to the irritated skin from the rubbing than to Mark’s breathing, which has evened out. At some point, Mark grabbed at Jongin’s shirt and his hand is still fisted in the material, even when Jongin has finished with cleaning the younger up. A light blush sits high on Mark’s face, and Jongin lets him pretend it’s just his makeup. 

After Jongin wipes off the blood on his own face, Mark watches him toss both pieces of paper towel into the garbage can, and carefully takes his hand. 

“Let’s go get our makeup redone?” Mark nods dumbly, hopping off of the counter and following him out of the echoey bathroom. 

Mark and Jongin get their makeup reapplied with only a light scolding and little questioning about what happened. Jongin hovers by the younger the whole time, watching him through the vanity mirror as concealer gets dotted around the ala of his nose once more. 

Even when Mark gets all jittery again, ten minutes before showtime and floating around their dressing room, Jongin trails slightly behind him. Mark is grateful for his constant presence. He hopes he can make it up to the older sometime. 

Nearing two minutes until going up to perform, as they walk beneath the stage and the sound of Jopping vibrating the platform, Jongin takes Mark’s hand in his and gives it a squeeze. Mark barely registers squeezing back.

**Author's Note:**

> i had 5 nosebleeds in the past month alone


End file.
